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I am eating a peach. I notice the white flesh that is laced with streaks of pinkish red fibres. I feel the fluff of the skin like an abrasion against my own. I taste the sugar water that pours from within it and I realise that I have not taken life in like this for many, many months.
This refreshing perspective comes after a year of deep treading in very murky water. My career has hurt me in ways that I am only able to process after the fact. The days that mark this period of my life look like a continual darkness that I cannot break through. I cringe waking up; I cry going to sleep. My sleep is disturbed thinking of work the next morning. I sit in front of my computer with tears streaming down my face not knowing where to focus my energies. When my staff arrive, I escape to work in a coffee shop so that they will not see my desperation. I live in fear of infecting their vision of who and what we are as a company. My priorities become null. My to do list grows, but nothing is marked off. Deadlines slip. Something has to give but I am immobile.
The removal company arrives. I pack the last box into the back of the car and drive down the farm road that I love. The fields blur alongside the road as kilometres become hours and a new life waits but nothing has really changed.
I make 37 telephone calls to psychologists. I ask questions because the profession is my own. I will not waste my time. I cannot find anyone suitable. Telephone call number 38 leaves me with a promise of a distant connection and a return call in the morning. I wait for three days. No word. Day four and an unknown number flashes on my screen. Aine agrees to meet me. She has worked in corporate as an Industrial Psychologist but she has recently moved into private practice to work with individuals who have been negatively impacted by the recession. She has never worked with a case like my own: someone who needs to reassess their career as a whole but she is willing to help me if I am willing to work with her. Something about the call, her professionalism, her time, her questions, are right and I know that my 38 phone call quest was not in vain.
We meet in a quiet hotel lobby. I have completed a lengthily online questionnaire and a detailed analysis of my career to date. I allow my words to tumble out in unordered disarray. It feels disconcerting and empowering to let the lumber fall in the silent forest of my inner world. It creaks and groans on its way down and then comes to rest. We discuss four areas:
1. My beliefs
2. My core values
3. My personality
4. My skills: burnout and motivating skills
We assess each of my jobs to date as well as all my current roles in light of these four areas. The beliefs, the core values, the personality: these reveal little that I am not aware of to date but the skills area makes me sit up straight. What are burnout skills? I have never seen an assessment that identifies these.
Burnout skills are the actions at which you excel, that people identify as your strong points but which drain you of motivation. They are unable to energise you and therefore deplete you without refueling you.
My entire career to date has been made up of my burnout skills and I have continually pursued these areas with intensity because everyone has always told me to work within my strengths. Aine states that this is why I am where I am.
We go back to the assessment and she talks me through the areas that are listed as my energising skills. These skills motivate me. They refuel me. They give in return for the energy they use. I leave the session with a workbook full of homework. Together Aine and I have identified career changes that I can make. We have also identified that my current businesses are not wrong for me, I am simply doing the wrong things within them. I need to make phone calls to people who work in these areas. I prepare a list of questions, email the individuals and set up meeting times. These people open up, share their concerns, their dislikes, their burnout areas, their passions. I come away with a deep sense of gratitude. These people have given time, expecting nothing in return.
I had my last session with Aine yesterday. We laughed at how much has changed in 3 months. She remarks that there is light in my eyes again. This morning I met with my team at the Design Factory at 100 Capel Street. We laughed over cups of tea at the fish with feet and four people riding on its back. It is for a project called: The Innovation People. Tonight over barbecued hamburgers and grilled mushrooms I tell Calvin about my day. My last words end something like this: It didn't really feel like work today. I was having so much fun.
So Life Lessons to take away from this experience:
{If you would like to know more about the questionnaire and Aine's services, please do not hesitate to contact me via email. I am very happy to share these details if it means you are able to get out of a black hole similar to one I was in.}
- Get help when you need it.
- Identify your burnout skills and your motivational skills.
- Change direction.
{If you would like to know more about the questionnaire and Aine's services, please do not hesitate to contact me via email. I am very happy to share these details if it means you are able to get out of a black hole similar to one I was in.}
29 comments:
I can't tell you how happy I am for you Claire.
xoxo
Claire,this sounds like it has been a fabulous investment. I'm so glad there is a light in your eyes...I can't imagine you without one. :) Luv you.
Claire - this is powerful stuff: the "Burnout" skills vs. the "energising" skills. I have never heard that before. I wish you were able to come to our Spirituality and Leadership Event at Princeton these past few days. We spoke about four quadrants on the axes of findgin "Meaning and Purpose" vs. "Joyful Engagement". (you identify high-low for each to see which box you end up). Of course we all want high purpose-high joy in our careers. But so many slip into "survival" mode (low-purpose/low-joy). Your story would have been so helpful to many people.
I have always used tool such as writing out what I do that has given me the most joy, the most results, the greatest sense of pride, throughout my career, and then used that to craft a vision for my career, built around my "energizing skills."
So glad you shared this.
It's counsel for all of us, no matter where we are in our careers.
Claire, Bradley's link led me here today! I want to share this with my twin sister and my psychologist, as she does energy work also. Thanks for writing this, Claire, and thanks for directing me over here, Bradley!
Thank you, Jesus.
I am so happy, for you and with you.
You are a delight.
Oh Claire,
I am so happy the light has returned to your eyes.
To hear you say that you talked to your husband over dinner about work, and you told him that it seemed more like fun than work reminded me of times in my life.
There is work that fulfills and satisfies and there is work that is JUST WORK because you have to. I've been in both situations~and in places where I least expected that to happen.
This is a great sharing for all of us, although there's still a lot I don't understand about the principles.
May that light in your eyes continue,
Janis
I want more! This is great story telling combined with such useful information. What were the burnout skills and motivational skills? Was it difficult for you to determine each, or readily apparent?
I'm thrilled you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And that peach is speaking my language (I'm a Georgia girl)!
i am so happy for you.....i read this to john and he related to it more than he wanted to. you are so special and unique !!!
xo
Answered prayers, in His time.
Blessings.
Thank you to everyone who has commented here. Many of you have been part of the group who has prayed me through the darkness. My gratitiude for that will never be adequately stated in words.
@Brad, I am glad that the concept is new to others as well. It was a complete revelation to me. Hope to be reading about the summit sooner rather than later. It is an event that I would love to attend. So many business events for leaders, CEO's etc are money and business process orientated and the mental/physical side is severly neglected. This event counters that it would seem.
@Janis, let me know if you want to share in greater detail. Always happy to do so.
@Cheryl,
The burnout skills are divided into people, data and things skills. In my case my burnout areas were counselling, selling, bargaining, memorising, managing, typing documents and working with equipment.
The motivational skills were broken down into the same areas but also included ideas skills. Many more were listed here but to summarise them they would be:
people:
teaching, presenting, training, questioning.
ideas:
writing, observing, expression, idea generation.
data:
editing, analysing, comparing, understanding systems.
and lastly things:
driving, preparing food, sport and maintenance.
These are all so accurate, it actually stunned me.
@Beth, I am so happy that my writing this has helped others. It wasn't easy to go through but if it equips me to help at least one other person then I am happy to have gone through the experience.
Fascinating! Is there a link to more information, a book or something?
Cheryl,
I have not yet seen a book with this info but I might be looking in the wrong places? I do read a lot of this type of material and this was really breakthrough material for me.
Here is the link to the website through which the assessment is done: http://www.careerdecisionmaker.com/
The career psych provided a username and password for me because I did it via her.
awesome - I have worked with developing people my whole life and I've never heard of burnout skills - soooo good to know!
As someone who is currently crashing, this is a good post to read. I wonder how one identifies the burnout skills?
Linked over from Bradleys blog. He was right. Thanks so much for sharing.
claire .. i read this post with a sense of gratitude for how you have been able to reach out for help and the light returns to your eyes .. the metaphor of the sweet taste of a peach is so rich and simple .. i can spell the aroma from here ...blessings friend
would it be possible to get your email address to find out more about the skills test please? that is really remarkable!! ak
Anna, sure. I linked to it above in the post.
But here it is as well:
burge(dot)claire(at)gmail.com
I have also linked to Aine, teh career psychologist's LinkedIn profile if you would like to talk to her directly.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Marcus,
My first reaction would be: do the online questionnaire that I did. It is amazing in it's insights. And definitely have a session with Aine or another career psychologist if you can. I think trying to identify these things ourselves when we are in the middle of crashing is not a wise thing. The objective, external perspective is necessary. I tried for months to do this and it simply did not work. My motivation was too low but when I had an accountability partner to refer back to, my wheels started turning.
If these options are completely out of the question, I think taking quiet time on a regular basis, to identify what activities consume your day and what the resulting emotions/feelings/energy levels are would be good. It would be like a career diary to track patterns and results.
Let me know your thoughts. I am praying for you.
Claire, thank you for your valuable insights. I am really at a place in my career where I am not sure if I should push thru or leave and start over. I am so tired of hitting my head against a brick wall. I know that it is my choice to still be in this situation because I believe in the cause and the product. I feel lost.
Zenia, I look forward to Skyping tomorrow...
Hang in there.
Thanks, Claire. I'll try that survey.
Good for you for seeking help so actively.
Thanks for sharing, Claire! I love the StrengthsFinder materials for this reason. Just because you are good at it doesn't mean it's a strength. A prize-winning swimmer who dreads every meet should not be swimming. For your readers, I'd recommend the book Go Put Your Strengths to Work. Marcus Buckingham talks about some of this phenomenon - getting pulled down a path because people tell you that you are great at it. He has some tools for identifying what makes you feel strong and weak.
Love it. Thanks again!
Claire, I've been in that exact same position of fear and paralysis. The concept of burnout skills really made me sit back and think. I know so many people who are multi-talented and because of this, are prone to being tapped incessantly for their burnout skills.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Claire, what a great story. I'm sorry that it was such a hard one to experience, but I'm so glad you shared it. Thanks for the insight about burnout skills. New to me, too. I mean, not the reality of the concept (I have some), but the term.
I'm so glad you are finding new joy!
Beautiful post. I am a career coach and may link back to your article in my blog today as it falls in line with this week's topic. Strengths strengthen us. If they don't, it's not a strength... it's simply something we're good at. Happy for you that you found this out and, in doing so, found happiness.
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